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On a less serious note… The Ultimate disclaimers
All clauses of this disclaimer apply to the disclaimer itself, except for this first sentence. All other disclaimers that may be found
on this site, or sites linked to herein, are obviously subsets of this disclaimer, invalid, illegal, or fattening. All meta information, HTML tags, photographs, artwork, text, opinions, ideas, facts or factoids
contained in this site are either my own, and therefore are Copyright ©1997-2001 by Rainer Brockerhoff, or duly licensed from and/or attributed to the writers, owners or copyright holders, or in good faith
presumed to be in the public domain; however, you're free to copy, reproduce, expand, excerpt or adapt this disclaimer to your own purposes, at your own risk, as long as you assume all responsibility for doing so.
All products, brands and company names mentioned are trademarks or trade names of the respective companies and you should mentally insert the appropriate TM, ®, © or whatever wherever appropriate. Any
links to external sites and any comments about the contents thereof should not be construed as either endorsement or disapproval of such contents, even if such comments overtly purport to do so. E-mail me if you
have detected a demonstrable copyright violation. 90% of all cited statistics may have been made up on the spot. Before entering this site be sure to make at least two back-up copies of your mind and other important
data on other media to protect against data loss. Brains sold separately. Use, duplication, disclosure or ritual exorcism of this information by the Government (any Government) is subject to the restrictions of
physical laws. There is no conscious attempt made nor desire extant to libel or otherwise cause malicious damage, loss, public contempt, defamation, slander, blasphemy, treason, sedition, or ridicule to persons of
any gender or even none, cabals, corporations, governments, institutions, corporations, or assemblies of inanimate objects, alien lifeforms, microorganisms, clergy, vegetables, animals, or any collections thereof.
No representation whatsoever is made as to the accuracy, political correctness, spelling, syntax, semantics, content or meaning of the graphics, text or downloadable files on this site, or of suitability for use or
quoting elsewhere or for any other particular porpoise. As far as I'm concerned all information herein consists solely of sequences of zeroes and ones, being presented as either a satire or a parody of other
sequences of zeroes and ones (or even of ones and zeroes) and neither I nor my service provider can be held responsible for any further interpretation, guesstimate, translation, exegesis, deconstruction, memetic
emission or absorption, catalysis, transmogrification, alteration or forgery of such sequences made by either your hardware, software or wetware, or by any intervening data communications channel, even if previously
advised of such a possibility. Any actions you take based on whatever you saw, or think you saw, on this site are entirely your own responsibility, so there! This site is directed at reasonably mature people of any
age and if you're not among them, life will be tough. Off-site links will usually open in a new window to emphasize that I'm even less responsible for their content. Since all of the Internet's web pages are
interlinked you will sooner than later come to what you may consider a silly, stupid, obscene or otherwise offensive site. Don't say I didn't warn you! No electrons, protons, neutrons or other sub-atomic particles,
or agglomerations thereof, have been knowingly harmed in preparing this site. All quantum fields and/or state vectors related to this site may spontaneously collapse, decohere, and/or go all higgedly-piggedly as
soon as you look at them, and I can't do anything about it. You may have some rights not detailed in this disclaimer but don't bet on it. This site (except for a few exceptions which are clearly marked) contains no
frames, Java, Javascript or ActiveX, transmits or receives no "cookies", and requires no particular plug-ins or software to view at your side, as long as you have a reasonably recent graphic browser which
supports tables. You should know where to download one from, anyway. Reading a disclaimer like this all the way to the end may have caused irreversible but not necessarily malign changes to your neural
whatchamacallits. Fnord, and all that sort of thing, I say. To have the secret second part of this disclaimer transmitted to you over a telepathic tight-beam channel (at 300 bauds nominal, odd parity), bury a signed
non-disclosure agreement and exact in consecutively numbered three-dollar bills in your backyard and stand by for further instructions.
Used with kind permission from http://www.brockerhoff.net/
If that wasn't enough, and don't you think that it should have been... Another Ultimate Disclaimer
This supersedes all previous notices. An explanation of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle may be found at the bottom of this page. Then
again, it may not.
Any resemblance between the following views and those of the University, my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely
coincidental. Any resemblance between the below and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question
of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.) This article does not reflect the
thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit
from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove
this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void
where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no
service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discretion
advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no
purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety
goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash,
irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and
skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best
safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for
your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred
cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash,
ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets,
shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any
resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to
sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If
condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if
mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco
ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for
television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for
direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for
two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly
prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free
before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is
final.
For all the ultimate disclaimers see our friends at WWW.they.com/disclaimer/
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